|so, believe it or not, this is the wierdest event i've ever attended in y entire life. it may not SOUND that wierd, but go to next summer's event and i GUARANTEE it'll be the most fucked-up, wonderous thing you've ever experienced.
i got a random invite from the photographer from goodlookin magazine, to go to a "porno pageant" of sorts. i immediately agreed, even though we had to leave at 8am on sunday - BLAH! so i put on the shortest skirt i had and hopped in the car - WEE! it happened to take place at the Ponderosa Sun Club nudist colony in indiana, of all places. i guess people fly from all over the world to go to this thing.
when we arrived and paid our $40 couple charge, i was immediately swarmed by a crowd of curious photographers, horny as hell & ready for action. not only was i barraged by a mob of photo-happy backwoods rednecks wherever i went, but i was treated like the rockstar i am and felt big pimpin'.
|my biggest reason for being there was to get my photo taken with ron jeremy himself, which actually happened later on in the day. while i posed for a picture with him, he grabbed my ass (you can kinda' see my skirt raised a bit in the photo) while whispering in my eary how nice it is.|
MY ASS IS RON JEREMY APPROVED!!
|she was my ultimate fave. this girl was a combination of pam anderson and jenny mccarthy, my two favorite chics of all time. i just wanted to grab her and pop her head off like a dandelion. then eat her from the neck down.|
|the event was at the ponderosa sun club, a nudist colony in indiana. this mermaid was some decorative sculpture out front of the poolside dressing room. there's also a photo of me in front of sunset thomas's trailer, where people were lined up for blocks to get her autograph. she's fucking hot.|
|the chick on the right was the first performer of the day . . . she was fucking awesome, dumping motor oil down her body, throwing tire gauges & various other car goodies into the crowd while working the pole to primus and clutch. hooray! she also had two arm surface piercings and was cool as hell to talk to.|
|here are a buncha' various pics that andrew captured with me and various characters on the grounds.|
|i even got to hang with a few of the competitors. weee!|
|this dude (note the whitey tighties pulled up OVER the top of his pants, under his sweat-stained thirt) was just BEGGING to be fucked with. some lady came up to me after andrew took this shot and asked me to do it for her. mommy?|
|here are some of my favorite of the competitors. i love the curly redhead, pulling on her hood ring. also, red-shoes made my pussy drool. and the BEST was this 70s soccer-mom lady, who was, apparantly, severely beaten the day before. check the hot bruise action.|
|the audience as nudists.|
|it's hard to tell but this guy whipped out his junk, just for this photo with lil' ol moi.|
|this guy was just very unhappy looking. awwww....:(|
|the stench herself even showed a little love. the scary thing is that once i showed my tits, andrew had to whisk me away from the throngs of horny rednecks, who were mobbing me to the point of it being scary. unfortunately, YOU don't get to see my magnificent mams. ONE MORE REASON TO GO NEXT YEAR!!|
|this crazy lady took off most of her clothes and was dancing for hours, most likely completely fuckered on night train or some such nectar of the gods. note the huge wife-beaten bruise on her hip. oh YEAH!! certain dudes would sidle up and try to rock out with her, but she was just too fucking posessed to be handled by anyone. instead, they resorted to staring at her. "uh, i like to watch."|
|some of the male contestants tried to catch a glimpse of the stench's va-j-j. here we have some dude in cowboy boots ( the apparant default outfit for the dudes ) on the left and the ASIAN SENSATION on the right.|
|some lamar lookin' motherfucker kept taking upskirt shots of my pasty ass for about an hour. i love perverts.|
|a photographer from SAVAGE & EASY RIDER magazine came out from the contestant area ( he was one of the bastard photographers that had a backstage pass ) just to have me pose for a few photos. i don't know what happened to them, but i think he had a crush on me.|
|all-in-all, much fun was had, and i met a lot of...|
. . . uh . . .